Thursday, February 24, 2011

Can you say BUZY?!?!?!?!

So heres' how the weekend shakes out for the Hobdy Crew. 

Tatiana has a play tonight and Friday night - which means even though I am already running on fume the next two nights will be late nights. 

Sometime between now and Monday I need to take Cianah's car to be inspected and get Karl to the DMV to pay for new tags.  Always a fun process. 

Saturday Bree has games at 2:00 & 4:00 - then from Northwest to Mehlville to watch Tati's play at 7:00.  So late night again. 
Sunday Bree has the 1st game at 9:00 - which makes for a fun morning.  If they do well in the tournament they have the Championship game at noon and then the last of the regular season at 8:00 that night. 

So someone PLEASE tell me what the HELL my major malfunction is????  So I finished the much dreaded "wedding dress" quilt last weekend - and promptly started on another quilt for the new baby.  Really?  The shower is on Sunday.  So I have to have it all completed by Saturday (which means Friday) and I am not nearly far enough along. 

Why for all that is holy did I start ANOTHER project???? So everyone send positive vibes, and possibly some crack to keep me awake....I want this finished!!!!

Here's a picture of the wedding dress quilt...(crappy camera phone pic)


I want to remind everyone Satin is NOT a quilters friend - I repeat NOT a quilters friend.  So this is far from my best work - but the sentiment is good.  :)

And below is a sample of the "new" project I took on - different color combination - but you get the idea.  What is my problem???>>>

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why is 37 such a big deal??

So recently I've been having HUGE anxiety about turning 37 in May (or as previously mentioned 29 for the 8th time)  I think it has to do with some big decisions my hubby and I have been tossing around.  I didn't care at 30, 35 wasn't an issue - 37 is really getting to me. 

The other day while arguing via text message to my youngest crumb snatcher - I said "Bryana, I am 35 years old.  I have been around a lot longer than you.  Why do you continue to argue with me when you are asking for my opinion?"  To which she promptly replied,  "Mom, you're 36."  Since the rule in my house is and has always been, if it's funny, you're not in trouble - all I could do was laugh.  Then for the rest of my day I went around thinking, OMG I am going to be 37 in a few months.  Geez, how did that happen? 

I've always heard the older you get the faster time flies.  Maybe it's the choices we are pondering?  Or the fact that Cianah will graduate next year?  Or the fact that this summer yet another of the monsters will be behind the wheel of a car?  (permit)  I don't know, but what I do know is, I'd like this all to SLOW DOWN already.  Seriously.  I need another 5+ years before 40 please. 





















I saw this diddy posted by MWDAS (she's so funny) and I laughed so hard.  Then I sent it around to a few co-workers.  The one who has "stopped making red" replied "Oh, this is such bulls*&#"  - I think maybe the angry you are projecting may just be related to your lack "red."  Just saying. 

Look at the girls face, she looks REALLY uncomfortable having this conversation with her grandma.  I can't wait to make my grand kids uncomfortable!! But for now, I'd just like to continue to torture my kiddos a bit more. 

So if anyone has connections with the "big man" - please tell him to slow this life down a bit.  I'm having a real hard time with it lately. 

Ta-ta for now!  Smooches!

Friday, February 18, 2011

I admit - I am the douche bag I previously complained about!

So yesterday while speaking to a client and I, Nicole Hobdy, used a cliche'.  I also said it incorrectly.  OMGGGGG!!  I think these people are rubbing off on me.  I must abort this mission immediately. 


“I don’t want to open this big ball of worms…”   Yes, I said it. As I heard the words spewing from my lips I felt the immediate urge to donkey punch myself.  Why? Why for the love of all that is holy would I ever discuss a "ball o wax" with a client?  Let alone a "ball of worms?" 


I believe I must now wear a sign (or a bad rug perhaps) as I have now fallen into the 8th dimension where bad cliches' (and rugs), the use of the phrase "attorney firms" and melted faces prevail.  Shoot me now!! Shoot me now!! 


Anyone hiring?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Damn it I need a 36 hour day please

So I have this "project" that needs to be complete this weekend - and well with all my "good intentions" I just don't have a clue how I will get this done. 

So if you, my dear friends would like to attend not one, but two parent teacher conferences tonight, please raise your hand! 

Cianah's are at 5:10 and Tati's are at 6:30.  I am hoping beyond hope that these are the conferences that I simply meet with the advisory teacher and will be in and out in a matter of moments.  The alternative is standing in a gym full of other cranky parents while standing in line for what seems like hours to speak to each and every teacher. In this scenario it NEVER fails - I get behind the parents of a slacker child and they must "conference" for a full 30 minutes.  Then I sit down and hear "she's a pleasure to have in class - do you have any questions? Nope.  It was nice to meet you."  And I am on my merrier way to the next cattle line.  YAH!!!!!!!!!  So how about this, raise you hand if you have Cianah or Tatiana in class and you have an issue that we need to discuss....otherwise I'm heading home. 

After work, basketball practice, band concerts, drama every night until eight, hours of vet visits, photo shoots, and basketball games there really isn't enough time in the day to have parent/teacher conferences too.  And I thought tonight was the night I would finish it all.  Damn you Mehlville High School, Damn you. 

Oh and also thanks for the 4 day weekend for the crumb snatchers - that ought to add a messier house to my list of rewards!

I will finish this project this weekend if it kills me! 

My lovely daughter told me this about the cursed quilt - "Mom, your reward will come." To which I responded with "what the hell are you talking about?"  (I know loving mom right???) She said, "Your reward for doing nice things even for people who aren't nice and probably won't appreciate it anyway."  Awwwwwwwwwww!  I'll try to remember this nice comment the next time I want to ring her neck.  :)  Love you Cianah!

Rickson - one of the best dogs ever!!!

Rickson (pronounced Hickson) (*in my best Karl voice – “if you don’t know, you don’t deserve to know – just google Rickson and you will know) our almost 7 year old dog (and the only other testosterone in the house) has been feeling under the weather. After a few trips to the vet we found out our beautiful boy has all kinds of issues.


He has:
1. An enlarged prostate (or prostrate if you are Bill McDillon)
2. A mean urinary tract infection
3. The start of a perineal hernia
4. Plus (which we’ve known for years) he also has; Cryptorchidism, a condition in which one of the testicles fails to descend into the scrotum.

So after our 1st $220 visit last week, and a week of some pretty strong antibiotics, there is still blood and infection in his bladder.

So another $310 visit yesterday, 2 different antibiotics, and some pain pills we are scheduling him to have his balls cut off – or more commonly known as neutered. In the hopes that the removal of the testosterone will stop stimulating the prostate and thus allow it to reduce in size.

The alternative is a canine specialist to evaluate his potential hernia and prostate biopsy. Yeah too bad Rickson wasn’t adopted by the Rockefeller's because no can’t afford that. At the end of the day we are going to spend close to $900 in a few weeks to help our little buddy feel better. He’s such a good dog he’s worth ever penny – but DAMN IT with pets and kids sucking every drop of money I save!!!!

So on to the ballectomy and hopes and prayers that we have another good 7+ years with our boy! Hopes and prayer – and money if you wish are all very welcome.

Monday, February 14, 2011

I stole this from Moms that drink and swear (hilariously disturbing)

So I am an fan of "Moms that Drink and Swear" on facebook....well because I drink and swear - duh!
Anyway this was a post of hers a few days ago.  Not sure which is funnier the actual Yahoo post of the responses from other fans of MWDAS!!!  Enjoy!!!

 

 

 


COMMENTS from other fans:

  1. In Soviet Russia, that's how they make pickles.
  2. Note to self: Don't EVER suggest to 12-year-old niece that she enjoy more vegetables AGAIN.
  3. An 11 year old girl's cooter is too good for an empty long neck beer bottle? What a spoiled little bitch. (my favorite) 
  4. Remind me not to have the salad or cucumber sandwiches at her house.....
  5. I FRIGGIN HATE CUCMBERS.... NOW I KNOW WHY! lol...wonder what she thinks about EGGPLANTS! 
  6. I am more of an okra man, myself. 
  7. DOESN'T ANYBODY WASH THEIR VEGETABLES ANYMORE??????
  8. Introducing the "Twat-O-Matic" It slices, it dices, etc....but wait if u call in the next 5 minutes, u also get.......
  9. Jesus, just buy banana's. They come in a bunch, are generally cheaper, they actually get eaten more often than a cucumber AND honestly, are closer to the size of an actual peen. Also, the curvature can make for easy access of the G spot. Just sayin. Don't judge me you bitches. 
  10. Why does she want to protect the cucumber? For a later meal?
  11. Cripes. Just buy the kid a fucking vibrator. 
  12. Vegetarian taco, anyone? 
  13. Wonder if she douches with oil & vinegar or perhaps ....wait for it.......hidden valley ranch...
  14. Poor kid is gonna be climaxing at every salad bar in town for the rest of her life 
  15. She'll need a 12 step program to get through the produce section in the grocery store.
  16. Try the Hannah Montana line of vibrators and bongs.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!  

Friday, February 11, 2011

More office Etiquette

Not sure if you all have gleaned from the last post that things around the office "occasionally" get under my skin.  :)  Here's a few more disturbing habits of my fellow employees. Top ten annoyances at the workplace.  

#1 - If you are a coffee drinker - please learn how to make coffee.  Training session at 7:00 am for those who need it.  Please DO NOT come in and leave less than a cup in both pots.  I am not sure if you realize that coffee in the morning is what keeps this gal on an "even keel" (it's all relative) - while the absence of said coffee just pisses me off.  :)
#2 - (This one works for home as well.)  If you use the last of the toilet paper - REPLACE THE ROLL!  I am also available for training sessions at 7:30 (since the coffee will have kicked in about then)
#3 - I am pretty sure that I taught my children this before they were 5 - but if you have a runny nose - BLOW IT - don't clear your nose with the amount of force that can peel paint from the walls ALL DAY LONG - you are GROSS! 
#4 - When blowing your nose as suggested in #3, if honks and whistles are necessary please blow your nose in the bathroom
#5 - If you have a persistent cough lasting more than one week (let alone 2 years) please seek medical attention.  The rest of us are tired of hearing it all day long.
#6 - The use of "big words" are not necessary in normal conversation.  We are not splitting the atom here, just collecting money.  In fact, in most cases referring to a thesaurus to carry on a normal conversation just makes you sound like a total BUFFOON.  i.e.    “the aggregate after two payments nets to $1000.” (no one is impressed)
#7 - While leaving a message for a client to call back, please limit your phone message to 30 seconds.  Leaving a 3 minute (or longer) message is a waste of your time and it annoys the shit out of me. 
#8 - Please limit your use of cliches to your personal conversations.  If you MUST use them, maybe using them properly would be beneficial.  "Putting it on the front burner"  “I know you two have been playing tag.”  (not phone tag, maybe freeze tag?)    “That’s all part of the life cycle” (really a bill??) 
#9 - When talking on the phone you do not need to say "right" "okay" every 2 seconds - kind of gives the impression that you are not listening to what the caller is saying.  "right, right, right."  (recently counted 27 consecutive "rights" in one phone call) YES!!! 
#10 - Flatulence is a part of life.  How about we all agree to take our asses to the bathroom to let them rip?  Slowly letting them "sneak" out while walking isn't fooling anyone - we all know that is not your shoe squeaking.  Also - the sound of gas against the leather chair is equally recognizable.  Your efforts to "cover it up" with a fake cough did not work. 

Had to add #11 - please clip your fingernails at home. I am pretty sure the flying projectiles are an OSHA violation!!!!!!!!! (can't believe I forgot this one)
I will never understand why everyone cannot be as awesome as I am. I NEVER annoy my co-workers - never!?! 

There are many more annoyance at my job - these are just my favs for today.  Don't you all wish you worked here????

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Bathroom Ettiquette 101

Just a few tips for you...
#1 – if there are 3 stalls, please do not use the “middle” stall unless both “end” stalls are occupied.


#2 – Merely running your hands under the water for 3-5 seconds does not clean off the germs you have encountered by touching the flushy thing, the lock and door handle of the stall. A good rule of thumb is HOT water, SOAP, and rubbing for about the length of “Happy Birthday” – feel free to sing this aloud if you feel the urge whilst washing. (FYI – happy birthday twice is the correct amount of time to brush your teeth. Although singing while brushing is a bit more difficult.

Back in the blogasphere

Well today anyway.  I am going to try and share some of my words of wisdom, life blunders and general good times as often as I can. I miss blogging but it only seems fun when I actual know people are following - so we'll give it another go and add the link to my facebook feed and see where things go.   Feel free to "follow" and/or "subscribe" to my blog - I think it may let you know when the blog is updated - but for real it just looks cool that I have "followers."  Puts me one step closer to world domination!!!  :)