Friday, February 11, 2011

More office Etiquette

Not sure if you all have gleaned from the last post that things around the office "occasionally" get under my skin.  :)  Here's a few more disturbing habits of my fellow employees. Top ten annoyances at the workplace.  

#1 - If you are a coffee drinker - please learn how to make coffee.  Training session at 7:00 am for those who need it.  Please DO NOT come in and leave less than a cup in both pots.  I am not sure if you realize that coffee in the morning is what keeps this gal on an "even keel" (it's all relative) - while the absence of said coffee just pisses me off.  :)
#2 - (This one works for home as well.)  If you use the last of the toilet paper - REPLACE THE ROLL!  I am also available for training sessions at 7:30 (since the coffee will have kicked in about then)
#3 - I am pretty sure that I taught my children this before they were 5 - but if you have a runny nose - BLOW IT - don't clear your nose with the amount of force that can peel paint from the walls ALL DAY LONG - you are GROSS! 
#4 - When blowing your nose as suggested in #3, if honks and whistles are necessary please blow your nose in the bathroom
#5 - If you have a persistent cough lasting more than one week (let alone 2 years) please seek medical attention.  The rest of us are tired of hearing it all day long.
#6 - The use of "big words" are not necessary in normal conversation.  We are not splitting the atom here, just collecting money.  In fact, in most cases referring to a thesaurus to carry on a normal conversation just makes you sound like a total BUFFOON.  i.e.    “the aggregate after two payments nets to $1000.” (no one is impressed)
#7 - While leaving a message for a client to call back, please limit your phone message to 30 seconds.  Leaving a 3 minute (or longer) message is a waste of your time and it annoys the shit out of me. 
#8 - Please limit your use of cliches to your personal conversations.  If you MUST use them, maybe using them properly would be beneficial.  "Putting it on the front burner"  “I know you two have been playing tag.”  (not phone tag, maybe freeze tag?)    “That’s all part of the life cycle” (really a bill??) 
#9 - When talking on the phone you do not need to say "right" "okay" every 2 seconds - kind of gives the impression that you are not listening to what the caller is saying.  "right, right, right."  (recently counted 27 consecutive "rights" in one phone call) YES!!! 
#10 - Flatulence is a part of life.  How about we all agree to take our asses to the bathroom to let them rip?  Slowly letting them "sneak" out while walking isn't fooling anyone - we all know that is not your shoe squeaking.  Also - the sound of gas against the leather chair is equally recognizable.  Your efforts to "cover it up" with a fake cough did not work. 

Had to add #11 - please clip your fingernails at home. I am pretty sure the flying projectiles are an OSHA violation!!!!!!!!! (can't believe I forgot this one)
I will never understand why everyone cannot be as awesome as I am. I NEVER annoy my co-workers - never!?! 

There are many more annoyance at my job - these are just my favs for today.  Don't you all wish you worked here????

1 comment:

  1. fingernails, stop the clipping!!! there did it post?

    ReplyDelete